You may want to start here as stories go quite into fear. When we remove all the rebuttal and get very simple, one day we recognize that we spent a time in our life blaming, shaming and ridiculing others for how we felt, what we were fearful for and how we abused ourselves...living a life in self misery, afraid of our own shadow. An inner world we never truly go into get to know, except there are a few. A few courageous souls who attempt to look within, into themselves to find the answers and to hold the patience to keep searching, knowing the inside is maybe just as vast as the outside world. How could it be a vast world inside undiscovered by so many? As we live in a world busier and busier and full of distractions. Do you ever really know?
A kind friend, a teacher, a lover, and a gentle man once asked me what I would miss most when I am dying? I responded, "my mom, my father, my sister, my friends, my dog", etc the list ran onward. He looked at me and said, "Yes you will miss all of those things, but the one thing you will miss more than all of them, is yourself. If you live without knowing yourself, you do not live a life full of the amazing true possibilities that life is here to bring to you. Instead you live a life, and at the end see the truth. At the end the truths will come out, you will begin to unravel, but as you die your soul will begin to rise as you become weary...and you my dear will miss you the most, as you did not live a life full of love but fear. So which do you choose? To live a life in truth and vulnerable love or a life full of fear? Only you know the way, dear one".
I thought about his perception for years after, acknowledging and learning from teachers and mentors around the world finding my truth deep within...a deepness that continues to grow...a darkness in each of us lures in the deepest corners...and I choose each moment for my love to go into meet the darkness and pull it out.
Have you ever heard the saying Love without Fear? I now feel my body expand and I know its love, its true, its right, and when my body retracts I know its fear, darkness, and going against the light.
In our waking day, our living moments we can choose love, let go, and rebirth, or we can continue to join the pattern of history with fear, suppression, and death.
It is painful either way...